Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Immigration Problem Solved: 5 Ways To Stop An Alien Takeover

Alien artwork by Didier Konings
Illegal aliens and the immigration laws are all over the news. It's a hot-button topic in political circles with a general election coming up.

But domestic aliens are less invasive than aliens that attack from outer space.

So take a moment to consider the real threat of an alien takeover, and how you can prepare yourself, with some help from popular Hollywood films.

5 Ways to Stop an Alien Takeover:
  1. Use knowledge gained about the aliens to take the upper hand. In The Darkest Hour (2011), Emile Hirsch plays a young entrepreneur that is taken surprise by invisible aliens that attempt a worldwide takeover. These electric emitting aliens can only by fought with microwave guns (that a brilliant Russian creates on a whim), and a little American ingenuity. In Cowboys and Aliens (2011), Jake (Daniel Craig) wakes up with amnesia and a high-tech blaster sealed to his wrist. Aliens attack and cowboys must team up with indians to ward off the gold-hungry aliens. Ella (Olivia Wilde) turns out to be a friendly alien, and they all learn the hard way that a bow-and-arrow is useless when fighting alien immigrants from outer space. They have no intention of learning English, despite working in a U.S. gold mine. A laser gun and a little dynamite works a lot better.
  2. Run and let the angry birds do the fighting with biological warfare. In War of the Worlds (2005), the humans are ineffective against the alien invasion, however the bird flu is what sends the aliens packing. Look, if the birds of planet Earth want to fight for us, why stop them? Its about time they pull their weight.
    Note: This has nothing whatsoever to do with Angry Birds in Space.
  3. Let the friendly aliens fight for you. In The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008), an alien friendly comes to Earth to prevent the G.O.R.T. robot from wiping out humanity altogether. If Keanu Reeves is on your side, who can be against you? Or how about in Transformers (2007) when friendly robots come from outer space to help defend Earth from the power-hungry robots that want use Earth for a new home?
  4. Take an alien fighter ship and take revenge. In Independence Day (1996), aliens attempt a worldwide takeover, and an American fighter pilot – played by Will Smith – takes one of the alien ships back to the Mother ship and takes a surprise with him to blow them into oblivion.
  5. Find an intergalactic Stargate and lead a ground-based rebellion against the alien threat. In Stargate (1994), Kurt Russell plays an army Colonel with a mission to destroy the gateway between planets to protect Earth. Unfortunately, he finds that the alien enemy must be stopped by blowing up the Pyramid-like spaceship first.

If you think you can add to this list, feel free to leave a comment at the bottom.

No comments:

Follow by Email