The Fast and the Furious 6: Fast Cars on Mars?

The Fast and the Furious 6 announcement

The Fast and the Furious 6 will be here in the Summer of 2013. Are you ready?

Great question.

Since there appears to be more stories that have yet to be told in this franchise (being sarcastic here), the next obvious location should be Mars.

Representation of Mars Exploration

This would mean the fastest Earth cars would have to race across Martian craters and canyons. And watch out for earthquakes, because Wikipedia says that there is tectonic activity on Mars.

If the Fast and the Furious 6 did take place on Mars, then you would have to write in some Alien characters in UFO's to race humans in their fast cars.

Fast Six: Fast Cars on Mars Poster

If you think aliens driving fast UFO's are entertaining, you really should watch Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999).

But if you want to see Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson race against Vin Diesel with shattered windshields on Earth, just wait until The Fast and the Furious 6 comes out.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson looking past a broken windshield in Fast and Furious

Stars confirmed so far: Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Paul Walker, Tyrese Gibson and more.

Movie Rumor: The big movie rumor is that Rihanna will also star in The Fast and the Furious 6.

Now here is a fast car - The 2013 Dodge Viper SRT. No guarantees it will be in The Fast and the Furious 6.

2013 Dodge Viper SRT

Why is it that if you watch the Fast and Furious 6 and the G.I. Joe: Retallation trailers, they look eerily similar?

Probably because Dewayne "The Rock" Johnson is in both of them, and there are big explosions in both movies.

Fast Five: Slow Down, Speed Kills

Fast & Furious 5 Movie Poster

If you want to see a movie with high-speed chases, gun fights, and a large dose of testosterone, you should see the A-Team movie (movie poster below). It is now on DVD. But, if you want to see all of this take place in fast cars, with furious drivers, and a heist to steal money "one last time", then you need to see the Fast Five, coming out April 29, 2011 (movie poster above).

A-Team movie poster

I think I understand. The magic number for Hollywood is now five. The secret used to be three. As long as one movie can be stretched into three, it has been given a green light from Hollywood Executives. Behind those Armani glasses, you can now see green eyes, from the dollar signs that the Fast Five will be raking in. Hollywood's new trilogy is a quintilogy.

Recurring actors in the Fast Five are: Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, & Ludacris.

But first, does anyone know what happened to this cast back at movie #3 (Tokyo Drift)? The only person from the actors above that even made a cameo, was Vin Diesel, and it was just a cameo at the end of the film. I guess the money wasn't in it for the actors. Yes, I do realize the movie took place in Tokyo, but the setting is not much of a limiting factor these days.

Then there was Fast & Furious (#4). According to Wikipedia, this was the first of the F&F movies that actually put more emphasis on American muscle cars than the imports. Dominic (character played by Vin Diesel) races with his modified 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle.

And in Fast Five (movie #5), Dwayne Johnson is the FBI agent assigned to track down Dominic and his street team during their Rio Heist. The trailer makes sure to capture Vin Diesel saying, "This is our last job, and then we will disappear forever [until the next film]." This will be the first of the films to be in IMAX theaters. Bring excedrin, because watching fast cars in 3D may 'cause brain hemmorhaging.

I have the idea all ready for the next movie, called The Slow Six. The movie takes place on the German Autobahnen . All cars are driving so fast, that Dominic has to create a team of drivers to slow down in order to steal the money "one last time". The catch is that the drug lords are transporting the money on a heavily guarded envoy of heavy machinery equipment, traveling at 25 m.p.h. Dominic has to ditch the fast cars, and hijack Caterpillars, dump trucks and cement mixers in order to take on the drug lords.

Just know this - if you are going to make a sixth movie, Charlie Sheen* is now available to join the cast. He only has one speed. One gear. Go.

Charlie Sheen is ready to film F&F 6.

*Charlie Sheen's "Torpedo of Truth Tour" may be coming to a city near you. View Tour cities and dates here.